Family Life Education

FamilyLifeEducation

10.1ConceptsofFamilyLifeEducation10.1.1FamilyandHousehold

Thefamilymaybebroadlydefinedasaunitoftwoormorepersonsunitedbytiesofmarriage,blood,adoptionorconsensualunions,generallyconstitutingasinglehousehold,andinteractingandcommunicatingwitheachother(Desai1994).Everyindividualhasafamilyoforientationorfamilyoforiginasitisthefamilyhe/sheisborninto.Mostindividualsalsoformafamilyofprocreation,mostlybymarriageandchildbearingbutmaybealsobyconsensualrelationships,reproductivetech-nologiesoradoption(Collinsetal.2007).Familyandhouseholdare,often,usedsynonymously.However,ahouseholdmeansaresidentialunit,composedofoneormorepersonslivingunderthesameroofandeatingfoodcookedinasinglekitchen(Shah1973)andmayormaynotcompriseafamily.

10.1.2FamilyintheEcologicalPerspective

Theecologicalperspectiveviewsanindividualinthecontextofhis/herfamilyandthefamilyinthecontextofitsenvironmentastheseconstantlyinteractwithand,therefore,influenceoneanother.Thefamily’simmediateenvironmentiscom-prisedoftheethnic/kinshipcommunity,neighbourhood,naturalenvironment,workplace,school/college,friends,mediaandsoon.Thestate,corporatesectorandthemarketinfluencethefamilyindirectly.Themacro-systemisthelargerinter-nationaleco-politicalcontextsinwhichthesesystemsareembedded.Diversityintheenvironmentbringsvariationsinfamilylife,which,inturn,explainsdiffer-encesinindividualmembers’well-beingtoalargeextent.Similarly,changesintheenvironmentinfluencethefamilylife,whichaffectsitsindividualmembers(Desai1994).

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CSpringerScience+BusinessMediaB.V.2010DOI10.1007/978-90-481-9066-9_10,󰀁

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10.1.3TypesofFamilies

Familiesareclassifiedasfollowsbasedontheclassificationofgroupsbyperfor-mancegivenbyJohnsonandJohnson(2009):

1.Pseudo-families:Pseudo-familiesarefamilieswhosemembershavenointerestinoneanother.Althoughtheytalktooneanother,theyseeoneanotherasrivalswhomustbedefeated.Asaresult,thesumofthewholeislessthanthesumofthepotentialoftheindividualmembers.Thememberswouldbehappierstayingalone.

2.Traditionalfamilies:Traditionalfamiliesarestructuredinsuchawaythatverylittlejointworkisrequired.Somemembersseekafreerideontheeffortsofthemoreconscientiousmembers.Thelattermayfeelexploitedanddolessorwouldbehappierifstayingalone.

3.Effectivefamilies:Aneffectivefamilyismorethanthesumofitspartsasthememberscommitthemselvestomaximisingtheirownandothers’poten-tials.Thecharacteristicsofeffectivefamiliesarepositiveinterdependence,two-waycommunication,distributedleadership,powerbasedonexpertiseandconstructiveresolutionofconflicts.

10.1.4FamilyLifeEducation

Familylifeeducation(FLE)programmesaimattheachievementofthecharac-teristicsofeffectivefamiliesorfamilywell-being.FollowingaretheprinciplesofFLE:

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FLEisrelevanttoindividuals,couples,andfamiliesacrossthelifespan.FLEdrawsonmultidisciplinaryknowledge.

FLEisofferedinmanyvenues,includingcommunityworkshops,videoandprintmedia,publications,theInternetandsoon.

FLEiseducationalratherthantherapeutic(adaptedfromArcusetal.1993,citedbyDuncanandGoddard2005).

10.2EnrichmentofFamilyDynamics

Familydynamicsiscomprisedoffamilyidentityandesteem,composition,familydevelopmentandfamilyrelationships.

10.2.1FamilyIdentity

10.2.1.1Group-LevelFamilyIdentity

Everyfamilyisconnectedtoitsimmediateenvironmentthatiscomprisedoftheethnic/kinshipcommunity,neighbourhood,naturalenvironment,workplace,

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school/college,friends,publicservices,mediaandsoon(Desai1994).Familyidentityistheboundarythatseparatesitfromothersystemsintheenviron-ment.Itisformedbyitscomposition,ethnicbackgroundandfinancialstatus.Ethnicbackgroundincludesrace,religion,regionalbackgroundandmothertongue.Familynameisoftenanindicatorofthegroup-levelfamilyidentitythatprovidesconnectednesstothefamily.

10.2.1.2Unique-LevelFamilyIdentity

Everyfamilyhasitsownuniquecharacterdependingonitshistory.

10.2.2FamilyComposition

Asasocialsystem,afamilyiscomprisedofsub-systems.Eachmembercanbeconsideredasub-systemanditsdyadalsocanbeconsideredasub-system.Thedyadicsub-systemsare

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Conjugalsub-systemsFilialsub-systemsFraternalsub-systems

Grandparent–grandchildsub-systemsIn-lawsub-systems

Consensualsub-systems

Thefamilycompositioniscomprisedofitssize,ageandsexofitsmembersandrelationshipamongthem.Familieshavepluralityofcompositionthatvarieswithclass,ethnicity,geographicallocationandindividualchoice.Thenormativeortra-ditionalfamilycompositionscompriseofjointandnuclearfamilies.Thejointfamilycomprisestwoormorecouplesandtheirchildren,boundtogetherbycommonmov-ableorimmovableproperty,andmayormaynotbestayingtogether.Variationsinajointfamilyarelinealjointfamilies,collateraljointfamiliesandlineal-cum-collateraljointfamilies.Thenuclearfamilycomprisescouplesandtheirunmarriedchildren,andisgenerallyfinanciallyindependentofotherfamilies.Avariationofanelementary/nuclearfamilyisthesupplementednuclearfamily,whichcomprisesanuclearfamilywithsinglerelatives(Kolenda1987).LeslieandKorman(1984)termedextendedfamiliesasconsanguineousfamiliesastheyfocusonbloodrela-tions.Theytermednuclearfamiliesasconjugalfamiliesasconjugalrelationisthecoreofthesefamilies.

Asmarriageandchildrenareconsideredessentialelementsofatraditionalfamily,thefollowingcomprisealternatefamilycompositions:

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Single-parentfamilies(duetounwedparenthood,deathofaspouse,desertion,separationordivorceormigrationofaspouse)

Childlessfamilies(duetoinfertilityoroutofchoice)

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Reconstituted/step-familyConsensualunions

10.2.3FamilyDevelopment

Asafamilysystemmovesthroughtime,itgoesthroughchangesinitscomposition,asmembersareadded,matureandlost.10.2.3.1StagesofFamilyDevelopment

Thedevelopmentstagesinatraditionalnuclearfamilymaymovethroughthefol-lowingstages,withvariationsinthestagesdependingonthevariationsinageandlifetransitionsoffamilymembers:

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Youngpersonsgettingmarried

Youngcouplesbearingandbringingupchildren

Middle-agedcoupleswithchildrenformingtheirownnuclearfamiliesOldcoupleswithchildrenbearingandbringinguptheirchildren

10.2.3.2FamilyDevelopmentalTasks

Afamily’sdevelopmentaltaskisagrowthresponsibilitythatarisesatacertainstageinthelifeofafamily,determinedbytheageanddevelopmentalneedsofthemembersofthefamily.Successfulachievementofthedevelopmentaltasksleadstosatisfactionandsuccesswithlatertasks,whilefailureleadstounhappinessinthefamily,disapprovalbysocietyanddifficultywithlaterdevelopmentaltasks(Duvall1977).

10.2.3.3FamilyDevelopmentalTransitions

Familydevelopmentaltransitionsmeanfamiliesmovingfromonedevelopmentalstagetoanother.ExamplesoffamilydevelopmentaltransitionsnecessaryateachstageareadaptedasfollowsfromCarterandMcGoldrick(2005):

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Movingtothestageofacouplegettingmarried,thefamilyhasto(1)makecommitmenttoanewdyadicsub-system(conjugal),(2)realignwiththeothersub-systemsinthefamily(filialandfraternal)andwithfriendsand(3)makespaceforthein-lawsub-system.

Movingtothestageofacouplerearingchildren,thefamilyhasto(1)makereadjustmentsintheconjugalsub-systemto(2)makespaceforanewparentingsub-systemwiththeirchildrenand(3)makereadjustmentsintheirfilialsystemtomakespacefortheirparents’grandparentalsub-system.

Movingtothestageofacouplewithadolescentchildren,thefamilyhasto(1)makereadjustmentsintheirparentingsub-systemtoallowtheadolescentchildrenmoreindependence,(2)refocusontheirconjugalsub-systemandcareer

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and(3)makereadjustmentsintheirfilialsystemaccommodatingforcaregivingofandlosingageingparents.

Movingtothestageofanelderlycouple,thefamilyhasto(1)makereadjustmenttoalifeofadependentand(2)readjustmenttolifewithlosingthespouseandsiblingsandpreparationofdeath.

10.2.3.4FamilyAdaptability

Familydevelopmentaltransitionsrequiretheabilityofafamilysystemtoadapttothenewdemandsthatcreatestresswithreferencetotheresourcesavailable.Covertlyorovertly,thefamilytriestomaintainorrestorethebalancebetweendemandsandresources(TsengandHsu1991).Patterson(1988)haslisteddifferentwaysinwhichthiscanbeaccomplishedbythefamilysystem:

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Directactiontoreducethenumberand/orintensityofdemands;

Directactiontoacquireadditionalresourcesnotalreadyavailabletothefamily;Maintainingexistingresourcessothattheycanbeallocatedandreallocatedtomeetchangingdemands;

Managingthetensionassociatedwithcontinuingstrainonresources;and

Cognitiveappraisaltochangethemeaningofasituationtomakeitmoremanageable.

TsengandHsu(1991)alsoidentifiedpromotingchangesinfamilystructureandinteractionthatgivethefamilymorestrength;andskillsfordealingwithstrainanddemandseffectively.

Thefourlevelsofadaptabilityrangefromrigid(verylow),tostructured(lowtomoderate),toflexible(moderatetohigh),tochaotic(veryhigh).Itishypothesisedthatthecentrallevelsofadaptability(structuredandflexible)aremoreconducivetomaritalandfamilyfunctioningwiththeextremes(rigidandchaotic)beingthemostproblematic(Olson1988).Structuredandflexibleadaptabilitythereforefacilitatesfamilydevelopmentaltransitions.

10.2.4FamilyRelationships

Thefollowingskillsofinterpersonalrelationshipscanbeappliedtothefamilysub-systemsaswellasfamilyasasystemforenrichmentoffamilyrelationships:

Semi-openboundaryinrelationships

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CohesionAdaptability

Positiveperceptionofothers

EgalitarianperceptionRecognitionofstrengthsAcceptanceandrespectCelebrationofdifferences

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Positivefeelingsforothers

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WarmthHumilityEmpathy

Win-Wingoalsinrelationships

CollaborativeconflictmanagementskillsInterpersonalcommunicationskills

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OpencommunicationskillsBodylanguageskillsSensitivelisteningskillsFeedbackskills.

10.2.5FamilyActivities

Familyactivitiesincludesharingfamilytasks,havingmealstogether,spendingweekendsandvacations,andcelebratingbirthdaysandfestivals,anddecision-makingaboutthese.AccordingtoKhavariandKhavari(19),wheneverpossible,theentirefamilyshouldreadanddiscusstheideasandinformationtogether.Inthiswayeachpersonisprovidedwithacommonbackgroundfromwhichtolearnthenecessaryskillsandattitudesforimprovingfamilylife.

10.2.6Activities

Activity1:Whatisafamily?

Thisactivityisusefulasanicebreakerforthetopic.Procedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstodefinefamily.

2.Leadthediscussionalongthefollowingpoints:

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Doesfamilyonlymeanbloodandlegalrelationship?Whataboutsocialandemotionalrelationships?

Canunrelatedpersonsstayingtogetherbeconsideredafamily?

Estimatedtime:15minutesActivity2:MyfamilynameProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstothinkofthemeaningoftheirfamilyname.

2.Eachparticipantexpressesthismeaningwiththelargegroupthroughadrawingoracting.

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3.Eachparticipantsharesthefollowingabouttheirfamilynamewiththeirpartner:

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Whatisthemeaningofthisfamilyname?Whatisthehistoryofthisfamilyname?

Doesthefamilynameindicatetherace/religion/regionofthefamily?Isanystatusattachedtotheirfamilyname?

4.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.

5.Discusstheimportanceofone’sfamilynameforgroup-levelfamilyidentity.Estimatedtime:30minutes

Activity3:Drawingmyfamily-esteemtreeProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstomaketheirfamilyself-esteemtreeasfollows:(1)(2)(3)(4)2.3.4.5.

Listfamilystrengthsasroots.Listfamilyactionsasbranches.Listfamilyachievementsasfruits.

Onthetrunk,writewhichfamilythisself-esteemtreebelongsto.

Eachparticipantsharestheirfamilyself-esteemtreewiththelargegroup.Celebrateeveryone’sfamilyself-esteem,aftertheirsharing.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.

Discussioncanfocusonneedforfamilymembers’acceptance,senseofworthandloveforthefamily,confidenceaboutfamily’scapabilities,assertivenesswithreferencetofamilyrights,andfamily-levelself-responsibilityformeetingitsneeds.

Estimatedtime:45minutesActivity4:MyfamilygenogramProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstodrawatleastathree-generationalgenogramoftheirfamilyandsharewiththeirpartner:

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Eachhorizontallineconveysageneration,andgenerationsarejoinedbyverticallines.

Theycanstartwiththeirowngeneration,includingself,siblingsandspouses.Theirparents’generationcanbelistedabovetheirown.Theirchildren’sgenerationcanbelistedbelowtheirown.

Drawsquaresformalesandcirclesforfemales,andplacetheageofeachwithin.Acrosswithinindicatesdead.

Listsiblings/childrenfromtheoldesttotheyoungest,lefttoright.Listhusbandontheleftandwifeontheright.

Makeacircletoincludethefamilymembersthatlivetogetherinahousehold.

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2.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.

3.Discussioncanfocusonfamilyhistory,hereditarypatterns,characteristicsandpresentcomposition.Activity5:RespectingpluralityofhouseholdcompositionProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstoexaminetheirhouseholdcompositionintheirfamilygenogramandformsixgroupsaccordingtotheirpresenthouseholdcompo-sition:jointhousehold,nuclearhousehold,single-parenthousehold,childlesshousehold,reconstituted/step-familyandconsensualUnion.

2.Eachgroupdiscussesthereasonsandimplicationsoftheirhouseholdtype,andshareswiththelargegroup.

3.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.

4.Thediscussioncanfocusontheimportanceofrespectingpluralityofhouseholdcomposition.EstimatedTime:45minActivity6:FamilyadaptabilityProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstoassesstheadaptabilityoftheirfamilyinthefollowingsituations:

Theamountofstress

createdbythesetransitions:high–1,medium–2low–3

Familyadaptability:rigid–1,structured–2flexible–3,chaotic–4

Developmentaltransitions•Whenthereisbirthofachild•Whenthereisamarriageandadditionofafamilymember•Whenthereisachangeintheeducationoroccupationofafamilymember

•Whenthereisdeathinthefamily

2.Participantssharetheassessmentwiththeirpartner.

3.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.

4.Thediscussioncanfocusonhowtoconverttherigidandchaoticadaptabilityintostructuredandflexible.Estimatedtime:20minutes

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Activity7:DrawingfamilytogethernessProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstodrawapictureoftheirfamily,asengagedinthemostcommonactivity.

2.Participantslisttheactivitiesthatthefamilymembersdotogether.3.Participantsreflectiftheyenjoydoingthesefamilyactivities.4.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.

5.Discusshowitisimportanttotogetherhaveatleastonemealaday,spendweek-endsandvacationsandcelebratebirthdaysandfestivalsandsoon.Thedecisionsaboutthesealsoneedtobetakentogetherasafamily.Estimatedtime:30minutes

Activity8:StoryoncomplementarityinfamilylifeProcedure:

1.SharethestoryofbrothersSonuandMonu

OncetherelivedtwobrothersSonuandMonu.SonuwasblindwhileMonuwaslame.Hecouldnotwalkwithouthelp.OnedaySonuheardthatalargefairwasbeingheldinthenextvillage.HesaidtoMonu,“Brother,wemustgotothatfair.We”llhavealotoffun.”“ButSonu,howcanwegosofaraway?Youareblindsoyoucan’tseetheway.IamlamesoIcan’twalkforsuchalongdistance.”

Sonusmiledandsaid,“Don’tbedisheartened,Monu,Ihavefoundawayout.IamblindbutIcanwalktocovergreatdistances.Youcannotwalkasyouarelame,butyoucanshowmethewaytothefair.Nowyoucansitonmyshoulders.YouwillseethewayandtellmewhichwaytogowhileI’llbeyourlegstocarryyoutothefair.”Sothetwofriendswenttothefairtogetherandenjoyedthemselves.(AdaptedfromTinyTotBestofMoralStories2002)

2.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.3.Discussionmaybeconductedalongthefollowingpoints:

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HowdidSonuandMonuovercomedifficultiestogethertogotothefair?Complementarityreferstorecognisingdifferentstrengthsofindividualsinteamsandusingthesetoachievethebestpossibleresultsinateameffort.

Estimatedtime:30minutesActivity9:FamilyasateamProcedure:

1.Preparechitswithnamesofdifferentmachineswrittenonthem.Theexamplesareoven,bicycle,trainengine,airplane,pencilsharpener,mixer/grinder,sewingmachine,washingmachineandsoon.

2.Dividetheparticipantsintosmallgroupsandaskeachsmallgroupselectsachitandplantoenactthemachineasagroup.

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3.Eachmemberhasaroletoplayandtheenactmentshowsconnections,move-mentsandsounds.

4.Eachsmallgrouptakesturnsdoingtheenactment,whichtheotherstrytoguess(adaptedfrom“Machines”byStaley1982).

5.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.

6.Discussionmayfocusonapplicationoftheactivitytofamilylifewithreferencetoimportanceofcomplementarity,interdependence,individualaccountability,sharingresources,providingmutualsupportandcelebratingjointsuccess.Estimatedtime:30minutes

Activity10:Problem-solvinginfamilylifeProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipants(notmorethan15)tostandinacircle,closetoeachother,shouldertoshoulder.

2.Participantsrandomlygrabtwootherhandsofpersonsnotstandingnexttothem.Theresultisanawkwardbuthilarioustangle.

3.Theparticipantstrytountanglethemselveswithoutlettinggothehandthattheyareholding.

4.Theyjumpoversomehands,gobeneathsomehands,turnaroundwiththeirhandsgoingoverothers’headsandsoon,tountanglethemselves.

5.Theymayendupwithalargecircleliketheystartedwithorsomesmallinter-connectedcircles.Somemaynotbeabletountanglethemselves(adaptedfrom“AllinKnots”inEnergize1991).

6.Askquestionsforprocessingtheactivityandleadthediscussionforapplicationtoproblem-solvinginfamilylife.Estimatedtime:30minutes

10.3DemocraticFamilyStructure10.3.1FamilyStructure

Familystructurecomprisesofrolesandpower,influencedbyfamilyideologies,functionalorientationandrules.10.3.1.1FamilyIdeologies

Familyideologiesgenerallycompriseofpatriarchy,sexism,adultismandageism.Patriarchydescribesasocialstructurewheretheactionsandideasofmenandboysaredominantoverthoseofwomenandgirls.Thiscircumstanceofmaledominanceisreflectedincorrelativeinequitiesthroughoutthesociety.Inthesphereofthefamily,thefatherortheeldestmaleisconsideredthepatriarchor“headofthehousehold”(Wikipedia2008).Therehasneverbeenatruematriarchalfamilyinexistence.

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10.3.1.2FamilyFunctionalOrientation

McIntyre(1966)identifiedthefollowingthreemajorareasoffamilyfunctions,whichneedtobebalancedforademocraticfamilystructure:

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Thefunctionsofthefamilyfortheethniccommunityandthelargersociety(kinshiporientation);

Thefunctionsofthefamilyforitsunityandjointhappiness(familism)andThefunctionsofthefamilyfordevelopmentandwell-beingofindividualfamilymembers(individualism).

AccordingtoRogersandSebald(1962):

Kinshiporientationisthedegreetowhichafamilyfulfilstheroleexpectationsofthekinshipreferencegroup.Familieshavetraditionallyhadastrongkinshiporientationthatinfluencesfamilynormsandsubordinatesindividualinterest.Familismisthesubordinationofindividualinteresttothoseofthefamilygroup.Individualismistheprimacyofindividualinterest.

10.3.1.3FamilyRules

Familyrulesareformulasornormsforrelationshipsorguidesforconductandinteractionsinthefamilyinordertomaintainfamilyhomeostasis(Hepworthetal.2006).AccordingtoVirginiaSatir,familyrulesareusuallynotconsciouslyknownorverbalisedbythefamilymembers.Thefamilybecomesdysfunctionalwhenmembersdonotunderstandtheunwrittenrules.Usuallysuchfamiliesdonothavebadmembersbutbadrules.Shewouldlikeallfamilymemberstounderstandtherulesthatgoverntheiremotionalinterchanges,includingfreedomtocomment,freedomtoexpresswhatoneisseeingorhearing,freedomtoagreeordisap-proveandfreedomtoaskquestions,whenonedoesnotunderstand(ThompsonandHenderson2007).10.3.1.4FamilyRoles

Thefunctionsthatthefamilyasaninstitutionperformsaredividedamongfamilymembersintheformofroles.Rolesareculturallydefinedandarepassedontosucceedinggenerationsascorrectbehaviour(NyeandBerardo1973).Roleexpec-tationsarethuslearntfromthefamilyoforientation.AccordingtoLevy(1949),roledifferentiationisthedistributionofpersonsamongthevariouspositionsandactivitiesdistinguishedinthestructureandhencethedifferentialarrangementofthemembersofthestructure.Thetermsofroledifferentiationmaybeage,sex,generationandsometimeseconomicandpoliticalpositions.Familyroleshaveimplicationsforlocusofpowerinthefamily.10.3.1.5PowerinFamily

AccordingtoBloodandWolfe(1960),poweristheabilityofanindividualtoinflu-enceorcontrolthebehaviourofothers.Inthecontextofthefamily,powerrefersto

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anactorstatement,whichindicatesanattemptonthepartofafamilymembertocontrol,initiate,changeormodifythebehaviourormotivationofanothermember.Inpatriarchalfamilies,powerrestswiththeoldestmaninthefamily.Theegalitarianfamilyimpliesequaldistributionofpowerbetweenmenandwomenandacrossagegroups.Familypowerhasimplicationforstatusinthefamily.Sincemenandelderlyhavemorepowerinpatriarchalfamilies,theyhaveahigherstatusthanwomenandchildreninthesefamilies.

Powerleadstoabuseofthepowerless.Thetwobasictypesoffamilyabuseareadultabuseandchildabuse.Thefollowingfactorsdifferentiatefamilyabusefromothertypesofabuse:

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Itoccurswithinongoingrelationshipsthatareexpectedtobeprotective,supportiveandnurturing.

Thevictimnotonlywantstoescapetheviolence,butalsolongstobelongtoafamily.

Affectionandattentionmayco-existwithviolenceandabuse.

Ongoingfamilyrelationshipscreateopportunitiesforrepeatedvictimisation(AmericanPsychologicalAssociation1996,citedbyMignonetal.2002).

10.3.1.6DemocraticFamilyStructureDemocraticfamilystructurerequires:

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Egalitarian,gender-aware,child-friendlyandelderlyfriendlyideologiesandrules.

Roleflexibilityandinterchangeability.Egalitarianpowerandstatusallocation.

10.3.2SexismandRightsofWomen

10.3.2.1Sexism

Sexismisaprejudiceordiscriminationonthegroundsofsex,especiallyagainstwomen(Reader’sDigestOxford1993).Itimpliesstereotypesofwomen’sphysicalandmentalcapabilities,whichjustifymalecontroloverwomenwithreferencetotheirlabour,sexualityandreproductiveroles.Feminismintroducedthedistinctionbetweensexandgendertodealwithsexismorthegeneraltendencytoattributewomen’ssubordinationtotheiranatomy.Forages,itwasbelievedthatthedifferentcharacteristics,rolesandstatusaccordedtowomenandmeninsocietyaredeter-minedbybiology(thatissex),thattheyarenaturaland,therefore,notchangeable(AnnOakley1985,citedinBhasin2000).However,peoplearebornwithsexualdifferences,whicharebiologicaldifferences,butaretaughtwhattheappropriatebehaviourandattitudes,rolesandactivitiesareforthem,andhowtheyshouldrelatetootherpeople.Genderreferstothesesocio-culturaldefinitionsofmanandwoman,thewaysocietiesdistinguishbetweenthetwoandassigntothemsocialroles.Throughouttheirlife,parents,teachers,peers,cultureandsocietyreinforce

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this.Thislearnedbehaviouriswhatmakesupgenderidentityanddeterminesgenderroles(Williamsetal.1994).10.3.2.2HumanRightsofWomen

TheUnitedNationsConventionontheEliminationofAllFormsofDiscriminationagainstWomen(CEDAW)definesdiscriminationagainstwomenas“anydiscrim-ination,exclusionorrestrictionmadeonthebasisofsexwhichhastheeffectorpurposeofimpairingornullifyingtherecognition,enjoymentorexercisebywomen,irrespectiveoftheirmaritalstatus,onabasisofequalityofmenandwomen,ofhumanrightsandfundamentalfreedomsinthepolitical,economic,social,cultural,civiloranyotherfield.”

Boysandgirlshavethesamerightsbuttheirproblemsmaydiffer.Agender-sensitiveapproachimpliesunderstandingandconsiderationofthedifferentrealities,needsandinterestsofboysandgirls,andmenandwomen.Suchanapproachtakesintoconsiderationthepowerrelationsbetweenmaleandfemalemembersofthefamilyandthecommunityinordertounderstandhowthesemightinfluencethedecision-makingandthedistributionofworkload,incomeandresourcesinthefamily,communityandsocietyatlarge(UNICEF2001).

10.3.3AdultismandRightsofChild

(RefertoChapters1and2.)

10.3.4AgeismandRightsofElderly

10.3.4.1Ageism

Theolderpersonshavetraditionallycarriedahighstatus;theoldestmanhasgen-erallybeenconsideredtheheadofthefamily.Thetechnologicaladvancementwithindustrialisation,urbanisationandliberalisationhasbeenchangingthesocio-economiccontextofageing.Thefastmovingworldoftechnologyintheliberalisedeconomyvaluesyoungandeducatedprofessionals.Theexperientialwisdomoftheolderpersonisnotconsideredproductiveinthisscenario.Moreover,theconceptofretirementfromworkisleadingtoloweringoftheirstatusasnon-productivedependents.Itistheearningman,whoisnowconsideredtheheadofthefamily.Women,whowerealwayssubordinatetothemeninthefamily,earlierhadauthor-ityoveryoungerwomen.Thetrendsshowinvertingofhierarchiesandambiguityofrolesratherthanamovementtowardsanegalitarianfamilystructure,duetogrowingconsumerism(TataInstituteofSocialSciences1999).

Themarginalisationoftheelderlyisbeingjustifiedbyageism,whichisthehold-ingofprejudicialviewsaboutindividualsorgroupsbasedontheirage(Marshall1994).Ageismleadstodislikeofoldpeoplebasedonthebeliefthatoldagecausestheolderpersonstobeunattractive,unintelligent,asexual,unemployableandsenile(Comfort1976,citedinCockerham1991).Itassumesthattheolderpersonshavereducedphysicalandintellectualcapabilitiesandare,therefore,dependentonthe

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youngerpopulation.Thisisgenerallynottrueattheageof60,justbecauseitisgenerallytheageofretirementfromformalwork.Theyoung-old(61–75)arepro-ductivehumanresources,asseenintheinformalsector,andtheold-old(76–90)arecapableofbeingusefultothesocietyandarenotdependentliabilities.Thenon-productiveveryold(91+),thedisabledandtheterminallyill;thelandlessandmigrant;andthesingleolderpersonsincities,wherecommunitysupportsareweak,aremorelikelytobeneglected,abusedandrendereddestitute(TataInstituteofSocialSciences1999).

10.3.4.2HumanRightsofOlderPersons

TheUnitedNations18Principlesfortherightsoftheolderpersonsfallunderthefiveclustersof:

Independence(accesstobasicservicesandcare,opportunitiestoworkormakeincome,accesstoeducation,safelivingenvironments);

Participation(toformassociationsormovementsofolderpersons);

Care(accesstofamily,communityandinstitutionalcare,health,socialandlegalservices);

Self-fulfilment(haveopportunitiesfordevelopmentofpotentialandaccesstoeducational,cultural,spiritualandrecreationalresourcesofsociety)andDignity(topreventexploitation,physicalormentalabuse)(Atal2001).Thereisaneedtoacceptoldageasadevelopmentalstageandnotaproblemoradisease,andolderpersonsashumanresourcesandnotliabilities.Coordinatedapproachesarenecessarytoensurethatthefollowingneedsofolderpersonsaremetashumanrights:self-fulfilment,healthandnutrition;workandfinancialsecurity;propertyandhousing;adulteducation;recreationandmobility;familyandcommu-nityawarenessandinteraction,protectionfromneglect,violenceanddestitution;anddeathwithdignity.

10.3.5DemocraticFamilyDecision-Making

Democraticdecision-makingistheaffirmationofeachfamilymember’sdignity,worthandwelfare.Allthemembersshouldbeencouragedtoparticipateinthefamilydiscussion,nomatterhowdifferenttheircontributionsmightbe.Allthemembers,inturn,havearesponsibilitytocontributetheirbestforthebettermentofthegroupfunctioning.Itisimportanttositinacircletoassurethat.Whengen-uinerespectisreceivedfromothers,eachpersonfeelscomfortableinrevealinghisorherideas,confidentthatnoonewillridiculeorcondemnthem(KhavariandKhavari19).

Infamilydecision-making,eachmembershouldavoidbecomingattachedtohisorherownideasorpreferences.Onceexpressed,theideanolongerbelongstoanindividual,butbecomesthepropertyofthefamily,whichmeansthatthecontributor

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canthenlookattheideajustasobjectivelyastheothermembers.Thisleavesthefamilyfreetoacceptorrejecttheideawithoutfearofhurtingthefeelingsoftheonewhosuggestedit.Evenifasolutionisnotfinallyadoptedasasolutionorplan,theonewhooffereditretainsdignityandasenseofworthifgivenarespectfulandcourteoushearing.Allmembersshouldfullyunderstandthatrejectionofanideaisnotarejectionofitsoriginator(KhavariandKhavari19).Followingarethestepsfordemocraticdecision-making:1.Thefamilymembersshouldberelaxedandseatedinacircleforthedecision-making.

2.Everymembershouldsharewhattheproblemisfromtheirpointofviewandlistentooneanother,withtheintenttounderstand.

3.Explorethefactsfirst,withreferencetowho,where,when,whyandhow.

4.Discussfeelings,opinionsandperceptionsattachedtothesefactsandthencarryoutitsanalysis.

5.Carryoutabrainstormingofsuggestionsforactionwithoutevaluatingthem.Sometimesoneideainspiresamembertothinkofawaytomakeitworkbetter,followedbyevenabetterideafromsomeoneelse,creatinggroupsynergy.

6.Discussthesuggestionswithreferencetocriteriasuchasthefollowing:

rr

theresources/capacitythatthefamilyhastoimplementeach,and

theadvantagesanddisadvantagesthateachmayleadtowithreferencetothefamilyanditsmembers.

7.Createasolutionthatwouldsatisfyallthemembersandmeettheabovecriteria.

8.Allocaterolestoimplementthedecisiontakenbutmakeajointcommitmentandtakejointresponsibilityforitsconsequences.

9.Monitortheconsequencesofimplementationofthedecisionanddecideifthereisaneedtochangeit.

10.Itisokaytomakemistakesindecision-makingandlearnfromthem.

10.3.6Activities

10.3.6.1Activity11:Self-DisclosureofGenderExperiencesProcedure:

1.Askeachparticipant,individually,tocompletethefollowingsentence:

“SometimesI’mgladI’magirl/boybecause...”.Askthemtolistasmanyoftheadvantagesofbeingagirl/boyastheycan.

2.Thenaskeachparticipanttocompletethefollowingsentence:“SometimesIwishIwereagirl/boybecause...”.Againtheyshouldlistasmanyreasonsaspossible.

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3.Allowalltheparticipantstosharetheirviewsanddiscussthestereotypesthatcomeupinthesharingsession.

4.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity

(Source:“Stereotypes:Selfdisclosure”inWilliamsetal.1994,pp.127–128).Estimatedtime:30–45minutes

Activity12:AwarenessofsexisminproverbsProcedure:

1.Asktheparticipantstolistthecommonsexistproverbsongirlsandboysormenandwomenandputupontheboard(forexamplegirls/womencanneverkeepasecret...sotheyshouldbekeptoutofconfidentialfamilymatters).

2.Theparticipantsidentifytheassumptionsofphysicalandmentalcapabilitiesofmenandwomen.

3.Theparticipantsexaminereasonsfortheseassumptions.4.Discusscounterevidence.Estimatedtime:30–45minutes

Activity13:AssessmentoffamilyrolesandpowerProcedure:

1.Askeachparticipanttofillupthefollowingchartforassessmentoffamilyrolesandpowerandsharewiththeirpartner.

No.12345678

FamilyactivityCooking

LookingafterthesickandtheoldShoppingHousecleaning

HelpingchildrenwithstudiesWorkingtoearnSavingsandinvestmentDecisionaboutcareer/marriages

Role:

Whocarriesitout?Power:

Whohasthefinalsay?

2.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.Estimatedtime:45minutesActivity14:GenderquizProcedure:

10.3DemocraticFamilyStructure205

1.Handoutthefollowinggenderquiztoeachparticipantandaskthemtowrite“Agree”,“Disagree”or“Undecided”againsteachofthefollowingstatements:

No.123456710111213

Genderstatement

GirlsarebornphysicallyweakerthanboysareBybirth,girlsarebetterattakingcareofchildrenandcookingthanboysareBoysarebetteratmathematicsthangirlsareandgirlsarebetteratlanguagesthanboysareGirlsmustgetmarriedafterschool,butboysmaystudyfurtherGirlsmustchoosebetweenacareerandafamilyAmarriagesucceedsonlyifthegirlislesseducatedthantheboyisTobeagoodwifeandmother,agirlmustmarryatanearlyageAwomanbecomescompleteonlywhenshebecomesamotherSinglewomencannotraisetheirchildrenwellWhenagirl/womanisrapedsheisresponsibleforitOnlymencontributetothecountry’seconomyAwoman’sworkislessstrenuousthanaman’sworkMenaremoresincereaboutworkthanwomenareaswomentendtobepreoccupiedwithhouseholdmattersWhenwomenworkoutsidetheirhome,theytendtoneglectandbreaktheirfamilyWomenmakebaddrivers

Womenkeepongossipingabouteachother

Agree–1Disagree–2Undecided–3

141516

2.Avolunteercompilestheresponsesandpreparestheaggregatescores.

3.Discussagreementsanddisagreementsalongwithreasonsforgenderrolesandstereotypesandcounterevidence.Estimatedtime:45minutes

Activity15:UnderstandingadultismProcedure:

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1.Asktheparticipantstoreflectonwhethertheywere/aretoldthefollowingintheirchildhood/nowandhowtheyfelt/feelaboutit:

rrrrrr

Youareonlyachild.

Youwillknowwhenyougrowup.Stopactinglikeachildandgrowup.Weknowwhatisgoodforyou.Youneednotknowthisnow.

Youwillnotdecidewithoutaskingus.

2.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.Estimatedtime:15minutes

Activity16:UnderstandingchildrightsProcedure

1.Formfourgroupstodiscussthefollowingcategoriesofchildrights:

rrrrrrr

ChildrighttofamilycareChildrighttodevelopmentChildrighttoparticipationChildrighttoprotection

2.Thegroupsdiscussthefollowingquestionsoneachofthesecategoriesandthensharewiththelargegroup:

Whatdoesthisrightinclude?

Whenandwhyaretheserightsnotachievedinourfamilies?Howcantheserightsbeachievedinourfamilies?

3.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.Estimatedtime:30–45minutes

Activity17:ExerciseonimagesoftheolderpersonsProcedure:

1.Identifyproverbsonolderpersonsandputupthislistontheboard.AlternatelydistributethefollowingElderlyQuiztoelicittheparticipants’opinionregardingthestereotypesoftheolderpersons.Participantswrite“Agree”or“Disagree”againsteachofthefollowingstatements

2.Participantsidentifytheassumptionsfortheabovestereotypesandimagesoftheolderpersons,theirreasonsanddiscusscounterevidence.

3.Discussionmaybeconductedwiththefollowingargumentsfortheabovestatements:

1.Mostoftheolderpersonsindevelopingnationsworkintheunorganisedsectorwherethereisnoretirement.Mostofthemworkuntiltheydie.

10.3DemocraticFamilyStructure207

No.1234567101112

Statement

Olderpersonscannotdoanyproductivework

Olderpersonsareconservative,inflexibleandresistanttochangeOlderpersonshavecompletedenjoyinglife

OlderpersonsmustgiveupworldlycomfortsandbecomereligiousOlderpersonsmustgetinvolvedinsocialworkafterretirementOlderpersonsmustspendtheirtimetakingcareoftheirgrandchildrenOlderpersonsspoiltheirgrandchildrenOlderpersonsareaburdentothefamilyOlderpersonsdonotcontributetosociety

Olderpersonsareincapableofcreativity,ofmakingprogress,ofstartingafreshOlderpersonsmustdressinadrab/sobermannerOlderpersonsmuststayonlywithpeopleoftheirownage

Agree–1Disagree–2

2.Olderpersonsfindalotofsenseinthewaytheyhavelivedtheirownlife,asithasbeenfunctionalforthem.

3.Righttoenjoylifecontinuesthroughthelifespan.

4.Atallages,humanbeingspreferworldlycomforts.Religiousorientationcancomeatanyage.

5.Itishealthytokeeponeselfoccupiedwithgoodworkafterretirementfromafulltimejob.

6.Olderpersonsareveryfondoftheirgrandchildrenbuttheymayhaveotherintereststoo.

7.Olderpersonstendtopampergrandchildrenandsodoparents.Actually,grandparentsaregoodbuffersbetweenparentsandtheirchildren.

8.Olderpersonsaresourcesofexperientialwisdomandsoanassettothesociety.

9.Olderpersonshavealreadycontributedtothesocietyformanyyears.

10.Creativityandmakingprogressarenotrelatedtoage,thoughstartingafresh

maybedifficultinoldage.

11.Ageisnotadeterminingfactorforhowoneshoulddressup.

12.Societyismadeupofpeopleindifferentagegroupsandthatisthenatural

socialmix.Segregationisnotgoodbyageoranyotherfactor.Estimatedtime:45minutes

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Activity18:SmallgroupdiscussiononawarenessaboutissuesandrightsoftheolderpersonsProcedure:

1.Formsmallgroupsofparticipantsandallotissuesofelderlyfordiscussionsuchasnegativeattitudeoftheyounggeneration,sendingthemtooldagehomes,physicaldisabilities,financialdependence,familyabuse,vulnerabilitytorobberyandmurder,andsoon.

2.Askthesmallgroupstodiscusstheseissueswithreferencetotherightsoftheolderpersonsofindependence,participation,care,self-fulfilmentanddignityandpresenttothelargegroup.

3.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.Estimatedtime:30minutes

Activity19:Role-playfordemocraticfamilydecision-makingProcedure:

1.Formsmallgroupsofparticipantsandalloteachsmallgroupdifferentsitua-tionsthatarepertinenttotheirdailyfamilylifeexperiences.Examplesofsuchsituationsare:(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)

GrandmothercomingtostayinanuclearfamilyPlanningafamilyvacation

BudgetingofthebonusincomeforthefamilyPlanningforasister’sweddingPlanningforadaughter’scareerSelectionofanewhouse

Impendingtransferofoneofthespouses

2.Thesmallgroupscanpreparerole-playsondemocraticdecision-makinginthesesituations,andpresenttothelargegroup.

3.Askquestionsandleaddiscussionforprocessingtheactivity.Estimatedtime:30–45minutes

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Carter,B.andMcGoldrick,M.(Eds.).(2005).TheExpandedFamilyLifeCycle:Individual,FamilyandSocialPerspectives(3rded.).NewYork,NY:Pearson.

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